'I'thou So Nervous at Work, and It'south Holding Me Dorsum!'

Beloved Boss,

About 6 months ago, I started a new job that takes some different pieces of my groundwork and combines them into a new role. I was pretty up front in the interview  process that a lot of my skills are self-taught and I hadn't formally worked in this capacity yet.

I want to do well in this role so desperately, only I fear I'yard getting in the manner of my ain success. The task pays well, the piece of work is interesting, and there is growth potential. Beyond that, I've always done well at my jobs in the past, so my personal bar for myself is prepare pretty high. I hate disappointing people for avoidable reasons. But I'm getting so worked up over wanting to be not bad at my job that I go on getting lost in the weeds, making mistakes, and dropping balls.

I'chiliad by and large a little forgetful and scatterbrained, but in the past this has never been an issue because I've built systems to help keep rails of my work. But with this role, it feels like there's so much going on and I just tin can't stay on top of all information technology. Little details will get past me or I'll forget to double check something or forget a certain process or software use case.

At my weekly check-ins, my manager does bring up my mistakes and we talk through them. I'm pretty good nigh not repeating mistakes, but there ever seems to be some new hurdle downwards the road that trips me up.

At my vi-calendar month cheque-in, my director said my work was bully so far, but it doesn't feel that way. I'm terrified of existence that employee who can't connect the dots about her performance and ends up getting fired out of the blue.

So I judge my question boils down to this: When exercise these little mistakes starting time existence a big deal? And how I do I find some arctic in club to actually succeed in this role?

On peak of all this, over the past six months I've also been dealing with some medical problems and getting married, and I experience like I've been exhausted or distracted way more than is usual for me.

It's normal to make mistakes, specially when something is new to you.

There is a level of mistakes that would be problematic, of course. Only it'due south meaning that you're not repeating your mistakes; y'all're learning from them and getting it right the next time.

And yes, then you run into something new and make another mistake. Just that'due south pretty normal when someone is learning a new surface area of work or working at a college level than they've had to in the past.

It's likewise meaning that yous've always done well at your jobs earlier this. When things take e'er come fairly easily to you lot and you've never needed to develop your persistence muscle — the mind-prepare that sometimes things are hard and you merely have to work at them and eventually you'll main them — information technology can be incredibly disconcerting the commencement time something doesn't come easily. You run into this with people who always did well in schoolhouse without a ton of effort and then hit hard classes in college or a challenging job and freak out considering suddenly they're non achieving every bit easily every bit they're used to. But that'southward not a sign they can't practise whatever the thing is; it's just a sign that existence challenged is new for them (and for you).

Of course, it'south possible that these mistakes truly are a sign that you're non well matched with your job. But the third piece of significant info in your letter is that your manager says you lot're doing well. In that location certainly are some managers who are bad at delivering candid feedback, particularly when the news is bad. But unless yous've seen testify of that in your dominate, I'd trust that she would tell y'all if she had serious concerns about your piece of work, especially since she's been good about addressing mistakes when they happen.

Every bit a manager, when I'm managing someone relatively new who's making mistakes, here'south what I expect at to determine how concerned to be: Is the person taking the mistakes seriously and learning lessons for adjacent time? Are they adjusting their systems and their thinking to prevent those mistakes from happening again? Or are they being cavalier, not processing the feedback, and continuing to mess up the same things? I likewise wait at the nature of the mistakes. If they stem from abandon or truly bad judgement, that's going to concern me a lot more than than if they just reverberate that that person is still in the middle of learning new processes and systems. Based on what y'all wrote, I suspect the reason your manager isn't worried is because your mistakes autumn in the "even so learning" category, non the "careless/bad judgment" category.

If yous can really internalize that — that this is normal for a new task and you're doing merely fine — that will probably assist with your nerves. And once you feel less anxious you'll probably be more than present and focused on your work, which will lead to fewer mistakes — and and so you'll be in a more positive wheel that reinforces itself.

That said, in that location are other things you tin do to cutting dorsum on how frequently y'all're making mistakes, also. For instance, because you lot know y'all don't always remember small details, build in time to footing yourself earlier you lot begin whatever new task. When you're about to beginning work on something new, take a few minutes to reverberate on what guidance you lot've been given about it then far, whatever feedback you've had on similar tasks in the past, and any reference materials or checklists you should be consulting. Then, write down a short summary of everything that's important for y'all to remember about the projection. Put that somewhere where y'all'll see it while you lot're working: Paste it at the top of the Word document y'all're working in, or write information technology on a sticky note on your estimator screen. Merely being deliberate almost those things can aid go along your focus where y'all need it.

Beyond that, try to cutting yourself a break! You're learning how to do a new task that'southward harder than what you've done before, you're dealing with medical issues, and yous're in the heart of getting married! Of form you're exhausted and distracted; anyone would be. New jobs are exhausting even under the best of circumstances. I think chances are very loftier that half-dozen months from now you'll feel more confident. If you don't, you can reassess at that indicate — but take it day by mean solar day until and so.

Order Alison Green'southward book Enquire a Director: Clueless Colleagues, Lunch-Stealing Bosses, and the Balance of Your Life at Work hither. Got a question for her? Email askaboss@nymag.com. Her communication column appears hither every Tuesday.

'I'm So Nervous at Piece of work, and It's Holding Me Back!'